Grab your coziest sweater… we’re tackling every challenge – from food to wellbeing to table culture – with these 5 survival tips to being vegan/vegetarian/other-arian during the holidays so you can still have fun.
So… the holidays are coming. And that means eating at people’s houses.
Ugh.
A byproduct of all the food trauma I’ve endured is an aversion to eating at people’s houses.
Especially over the holidays, where meat gains cultural significance, fancy creams and gravies are poured over everything, and…
Cakes. Pies. Confetti of trans fats and refined sugars.
If you’ve been blessed GI complications, it’s a torturous time.
I used to dread parties. When eating out feels like playing Russian roulette, you don’t really have room for, like… a good time. For two years, I didn’t go anywhere… unless my Lebanese mother berated me long enough over a crucial festivity, then I’d go and sit in a ball of anxiety until it was over.
Not exactly “cozy holiday vibes”.
I was embarrassed. Shaming restrictive diets has become a trend. The internet has a lot to say about what people are eating, and let’s face it… vegans get a lot of hate.
Usually I’d say “haters gonna hate” but when everything in life revolves around food, the conversation happens over and over again.
And upon every vegan revelation, I feel the need to explain myself, so I word-vomit all the gory medical details then I’m mortified from oversharing and having disgusted the listener.
It’s not a dignified experience.
But in the spirit of growth, I’m learning to care less what people think and prioritising my health and wellbeing.
And I want you to hop on this wagon with me. So I put together some tips on how to survive being vegan/vegetarian/etc over the holidays and have a great fucking time doing it.
1. How to not go hungry
How many times have you attended a family party and the only thing you could eat was a salad?
More times than you can count? Yeah, me too.
Solution: Bring your own food. I resisted this for a long time because it felt rude. I’m Lebanese, and we have strict hospitality rules. But fuck it.
Prioritise yourself. Bring your own food.
Better yet, bring ingredients and show off your culinary skills. Oftentimes in the holidays, people arrive before the food is ready and the kitchen is a whirlwind of clanging, smells, and chatter. It’s the best part of the day.
Use that time and de-mystify your diet for people. Your grandmother who believes butter is an essential ingredient… show her an alternative. Your cousin who works out too much, show him how nutritious dinner can actually be.
I get satisfaction from proving my diet doesn’t amount to munching on lettuce all day.
Embarrassment is a self-inflicted exercise. I understood that when I chose to leave the “hungry girl” corner. People love talking about food, and they’re curious.
So own your brand of eating. Educate us. Be confident.
2. How to be Respectful: Addressing Table Culture
Hospitality is a bit of a dance. Certain behavior is expected of the host, as is of the guests.
For the Lebanese, hospitality is e v e r y t h i n g. Turning away food is a big no-no. Hungry or not, you accept what is offered and eat every last bite.
Turning away meat? Sacrilege.
So here’s a tip… beat them to it.
Call ahead of time and ask for your favorite dish. Asking for food is the biggest compliment! Everytime I do this, there’s excitement on both sides. It also makes the host’s life easier so they don’t have to guess what to make for you.
Alternatively, you can discuss the menu ahead of time, propose ideas, and offer to help.
This shows active participation, which any host will appreciate, and ensures you have something to eat at the party!
In reality though, turning down food is almost inevitable. Keep reading for tips on that too, but we have to remember that oftentimes, people don’t really care. And if they do, remember that your health matters over someone’s feelings.
Priority = You.
3. Come Prepared
If you don’t have a sensitive stomach, you can skip this part. But for my people whose GI system erupts at the first sign of naughty behavior, come prepared.
All the remedies you have for digestion, stomach ache, bloating, nausea… bring them. Whether that’s your favorite tea or over-the-counter enzymes, there’s no shame in a little help.
This can help lower anxiety over the chance of cross-contamination or suspecting your grandmother threw that knob of butter in anyway. You’ll be grateful you did.
You can even bring a heating pad. It’s family after all, lounging around is inevitable. And a bit of heat always helps settle my stomach.
Other ideas include some fuzzy socks, comfy pants, or a cozy sweater. Anything to maximise comfort.
People should do this anyway! I love lounging around on the holidays, particularly as the body moves into a food coma.
4. How to handle ignorant comments
As I mentioned, shaming vegans is a trend these days. I get a lot of the usual labels, like hippie or bougie, and I was even accused of being “fake-spiritual”.
Eye roll.
My friends will pillage the liquor cabinet for 72 straight hours, then worry about whether I get enough protein.
Being on any restrictive diet is perceived as frivolous or vain. Women are shamed for trying to lose weight, vegans are shamed for threatening society’s meat culture, other-arians are shamed for not getting enough XYZ, the list goes on. Society’s shame game is strong.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Food is a very personal matter, and you need to make decisions about what’s best for you. People don’t have to understand it. They just need to respect it. I shouldn’t have to provide my medical history to get the vegan stigma lifted off me.
Be whatever the hell you want. As long as you’re healthy, people can stuff it.
Even so, health awareness is rising around the world. A lot of people are educating themselves and making healthier choices. We’re headed toward a world where everyone is more picky about what they put in their bodies.
For now, let the comments roll off you. You know what you stand for and make that an unshakeable pillar. And confidence is key.
5. How to tell your story
I’ll start by saying you should only share your story if you’re comfortable. I didn’t for a long time and that’s okay.
But if you’re ready, tell it and tell it well. Do your homework. Prepare ahead of time. This is the Story of You and warrants the same preparation as any other project.
Your story is powerful. It educates, brings perspective and shuts people up pretty quickly.
Don’t do it as a defense mechanism. Tell it gently to your favorite aunt in front of the fire. Inspire, make curious, and open minds. Make them understand and they’ll start standing up for you if anyone’s talking shit.
That’s the domino effect of raising awareness.
People need to understand how hard it is to struggle with food, and this is why I tell my story. It’s a complication we face all day, every day. Life is generally more stressful, and it can suck the joy out of a person. I’ve been there.
So if you choose to tell your story, pat yourself on the back for doing something incredibly brave and watch the ripple effect.
Holiday Dishes You Can Bring
Of course I have recipe recommendations! To wrap up these tips, below are some of my favorite vegan dishes to help you prepare for the holidays and all the revelry involved.
Garlic & Rosemary Skillet Bread: Okay so most bread is technically “vegan”… but you can still wow people with this delicious garlic and rosemary skillet bread. Nothing says “happy holidays” like fancy gluten.
Mushroom Bourguignon: One of my favorite meals ever, this simple mushroom bourguignon is packed with flavor and so filling! Pair it with mashed potatoes on the side, and you’re set.
Cauliflower Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy: Speaking of mash, here’s a great recipe topped with a delicious vegan gravy.
Vegan Greek-Style Roast “Lamb” (Kleftiko): Disclaimer that I haven’t tried this recipe yet, but it looks SO GOOD. Can someone give it a go and let me know how it is?
Easy Vegan Stuffing: No holiday goes without stuffing and here’s a vegan version which will leave your mouth watering.
Vegan Wellington: I get a giggle out of making this dish because I live in Wellington, New Zealand. So every time I make this dish, I get the joy of saying I’m eating a wellington in Wellington.
Final Thoughts
That brings us to the end of our tips, and I hope you go into the holidays more confident with your vegan ways.
Eating at people’s houses doesn’t have to be a chore. Dreading things that should be fun… that’s not what life is about.
It’s possible to bring back the joy, with a bit of preparation.
It starts with practicing good mental hygiene.
We get caught up in these stories of shame, embarrassment, what people will think, or how we may be perceived. It’s all bullshit. Prioritize your wellbeing and your health. Most of the time, our fears are exaggerated anyway.
But in the odd occasion of negative behavior, remember that people’s ignorance doesn’t matter. If it comes from someone you see once a year at a party, it doesn’t matter.
You matter. Be proud.
The people who love you don’t care as long as you’re healthy.
So these are not only tips to survive, but how to fucking thrive being vegan (or whatever) during the holidays.
Stay healthy, and happy holidays.
