5 Mantras to Pop Out of Toxic Thinking

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Meditation Series Part 3

Various mantras to pop out of thinking (toxic or otherwise) is one of my favorite topics. This is a fundamental meditation learning and takes a lot of practice.

But given the dire state of our world and rising anxiety and depression around the world (me included), it’s the perfect time to flesh out this topic to enhance our wellbeing and declutter the mind.

At the end of this post is an exercise to get you started. But I thought I’d share 5 useful mantras to pop out of toxic thinking, how they work, and why stepping out of your thoughts can be incredibly freeing.

Without further ado, here are 5 mantras to help you pop out of thinking. And these can be applied whether your thoughts are toxic, sad, or taking over more than you’re comfortable with.

Related: Meditation Series Part 1: Defining Meditation

Related: Meditation Series Part 2: 5 Benefits of Improving Focus and Concentration

5 Mantras to Pop Out of Thinking, Toxic or Otherwise

1. “I am not my thoughts.”

Hear this and remember it forever: you don’t have to buy everything the mind is selling.

This mantra is tricky because a lot of us think our thoughts are who we are. I especially struggle with this. As a writer-storyteller-daydreamer, I place a lot of value on thought. I write each down, explore it, dissect it. I add stories to it and identify with it.

Let’s take an example relatable to many in this COVID-19 world: you got laid off and you weren’t successful in the latest job you interviewed for.

Devastation and fear bring a barrage of thoughts. Of course I didn’t get it, I’m not as qualified as I think I am. I was too nervous and fucked it. I’ll never find a job. I need to sell my belongings to feed myself. I’ll never amount to anything, just like my mother always said. I’m worthless.

Doesn’t sound very helpful, does it? Yet we continue to feed into these lies, beating ourselves when we’re down.

The mind has a lot to say about everything. Through meditation, we learn to separate from the mind and observe it for what it is: a loud voice spinning tales and not worth your every listen.

You are not your thoughts. That inner self-critic which never lets you rest… you don’t have to listen every time.

Note that this isn’t a miracle mantra that will silence your mind forever. Thoughts will continue to come. But you can observe without investing. And overtime you may find they don’t leave their mark as much.

2. “…and that’s okay. I don’t need to be positive.”

This sounds controversial but bear with me. The concept of toxic positivity has recently grained traction, which gladdens me. Ever wondered why “Be positive” has never once worked?

Because what often comes after the barrage of lies from Mantra #1 is you start berating yourself for feeling how you’re feeling. You call yourself negative or crazy or ungrateful.

Mark Mason, blogger and author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” describes the idea of having thoughts about our thoughts as the “Feedback Loop From Hell”.

As he states, “We feel bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty for feeling guilty. We get angry about getting angry, We get anxious about feeling anxious. What is wrong with me?”

Countering our thoughts with the “Be positive” bullshit sends signals that what we’re experiencing is not okay and should be avoided. But resisting our emotions creates inner conflict. Avoidance creates inner separation, which causes more suffering.

The most powerful thing we can do is sit in that emotion. Shit sucks right now… and that’s okay. This is meditation at its core. Don’t seek another experience. Sit in the discomfort. 

If it’s not a good day today, that’s okay. Do something you love, take a break, and fuck positivity.

3. “Can I know that this is 100% true?”

This is an exercise I find exhausting, yet effective. Byron Katie famously dubs this as The Work where you explore a certain distressing situation and challenge every arising thought with “Is it true? Can I absolutely know that it’s true?”

Spoiler alert: 99% of our thoughts are not true.

I’ve found this to be particularly helpful for existential thoughts that keep us up at night like “I’m not living up to my full potential” or any variation of “I’m not enough”. Challenging these thoughts with this simple question can be enlightening… what exactly are we measuring ourselves against?

We function under the illusion that our thoughts are in our best interest and propel us forward, but the reality is that only 1% are actually useful. The rest is fluff and fairy tales.

4. “Thank you, and off you go.”

Two parts to this mantra.

First is kindness. Genuinely thank your mind for churning out whatever disturbed thought it just did because A. being kind to yourself is part of the journey and B. your mind isn’t evil, it’s genuinely trying to protect you.

The second part is releasing the thought so you can move on with your day without getting trapped in its clutches.

This became a practice for me after I moved to New Zealand and developed serious fears about earthquakes. My brain, pragmatic as she is, sent me all sorts of horrible imagery about drowning in a tsunami, losing my partner in the dystopian chaos, or being crushed by my apartment building.

Scary… but well-intentioned. She’s worried about us. Of course she is! But instead of getting caught up in the horrible imagery, I thank her for her concern and move on.

It’s as simple as that. You don’t need to investigate. There’s no use driving yourself crazy to understand why you thought what you did or what personal trauma it links to. You don’t need to engage the mind or mitigate every risk it presents.

The best way to hijack the toxic loop of thinking is to say “thank you for bringing awareness to this potential issue” and send it off with kindness.

5. “I’m here, here, here.”

This mantra is so powerful that I included it in my post on 4 Mantras to Center Yourself During an Anxiety Attack.

The best way to pop out of thoughts is to come back to the present moment. Your surroundings are the reality, not the cacophony of your mind.

The mantra “I’m here, here, here,” is a reminder that you are present, there, wherever you are.

With every “here”, add an element for your senses.

Example: I’m here (dried flowers against the brick wall), here (the aftertaste of dinner on my tongue), here (the smell of coffee), here (birdsong), here (the cool breeze on my neck).

By doing this, you step out of survival mode where your mind is screaming “DANGER” and into the present moment where you are safe. 

And I’ll repeat here one of my favorite quotes of all time by the wise Eckhart Tolle: “You are always safe in the present moment.”

Exercise

I promised you an exercise to get you started and here I deliver.

Find a comfortable spot where you can sit for 10 minutes without interruption.

Deep breath in. Long breath out. 

Become aware of the stream of thinking in your mind. Observe what arises… hold it with curiosity. Without judgement, allow it to run its course, including any emotion it emits.

Do this over and over again for 10 minutes. Every time, come back to the present.

See if you can catch yourself getting caught up in a train of thought and getting distracted from the practice.

Try not to berate yourself for being “bad at this”. This takes a lot of practice. The more you do it, the better you become.

Do this daily. If you find you get caught up in your thoughts a lot, try a bell that goes off every minute as a reminder to come back to the practice. Alternatively, there are many mindfulness resources online, including YouTube. Look for various guided meditations and see what resonates with you.

I hope you found these mantras useful to pop out of toxic thinking. I hope you’re doing okay in these hard times. Go gently with yourself.

Much love,

P

Today’s Tunes: Lettre à Elise by Efisio Cross