10 thoughts to keep you going during difficult times: food for thought for anyone going through it right now.
TW: the below unpacks a few mental health topics. Please do not proceed if you’re feeling vulnerable. Go light some candles, make a tea, and curl up in bed with your favorite book or movie. Big hugs.
Disclaimer: I’m not a mental health professional. Nothing in this post or on this website should be taken as medical advice. Please talk to a health professional if you have concerns/questions about your mental health.
This may come as no surprise, but I’ve had a difficult few years. Wrangling a panic disorder during a pandemic while separated from family and trying to keep a business afloat has been… testing.
Frankly I’m impressed I’m still functioning. Hard times have yielded perseverance, stubborn will, and epic art. I don’t give myself enough credit.
Odds are, you don’t either.
Wellbeing is linked to everything we do. And this blog will always be an honest place to discuss difficult stuff and how our mental health impacts our ability to live and create authentically.
Let’s go through 10 re-energising thoughts to keep you going through difficult times. Although I curated these around my own anxieties, I believe they are applicable to everyone.
Grab a journal. And keep an open mind. You’ve got this.
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10 Thoughts that keep me going during difficult times
1. It’s okay to dream big
I’m often intimidated by my own dreams. If you’re a creative/entrepreneur, you may relate.
When times are particularly difficult, I develop a toxic relationship with my dreams. They begin to feel like a curse… a heavy burden that tastes of obsessive thoughts, haunting me from every direction.
One day, Shaun was going on about his dream of owning a boat someday. I could only listen for so long before I snapped, telling him to be realistic. Slightly hurt, he replied that dreaming is meant to be fun. It’s what keeps us going.
It was the wake-up call I needed to address my fear of dreaming big.
It’s worth asking yourself a few questions around this. If everything starts to feel impossible, resenting our dreams is not the answer. Likely, things are a bit overwhelming and we just need a break.
Dreams are meant to be fun. Entertain them wildly, and try to detach from expectations or outcomes.
2. Can I turn this fear into curiosity?
This is one of the more difficult thoughts to keep me afloat through hard times.
If like me, you experience intense bouts of anxiety, you understand how fear warps reality. Here’s a good example to describe this:
Last year, I had to give a presentation at work. It was a particularly intense environment and I bordered a panic attack minutes before I was up. Everything seemed dark and strange, and all I could think about was running out of the room.
Once I finished, I went lax with relief… and the room became completely different. I noticed jugs of water, fruits and coffee. I noticed how friendly everyone seemed, chatting and connecting. People shook my hand, smiling. And I wondered what the hell I was so worried about.
That day I learned a valuable lesson in how fear changes our perception of the world. I think of all the things I worry about on a daily basis and can’t help wondering whether this is handicapping my ability to flourish. Whether it’s putting a dark filter over my vision, making everything scarier than it actually is.
Meditation advises us to always approach with curiosity rather than fear. Although easier said than done, try to tap into your worst fears and ask yourself… can I turn this fear into curiosity? You might find some interesting… and hopefully empowering… answers.
3. Head down and ignore the noise
Being an adult can be serious business. We’re inundated with responsibilities, all too aware that everything is fucked. Covid has especially pried our eyes open to the messy state of the world. It all feels heavy and hopeless.
Money is evil. The housing market sucks. Social media sucks. It just makes you want to quit.
Not exactly a recipe for success.
We have to remember most messages out there are designed to make us feel powerless. It’s a tactic to collect votes. It’s not real.
And I’m not denying things are really challenging and murky at the moment. But if I believed everything the internet told me, I wouldn’t be building a business. I’d stop believing I can own a home someday. I wouldn’t even have children because why would I bring innocents into a doomed world?
Be careful the impact of the general rhetoric. I tell myself every day to put my blinders on, hyperfocus my vision, and work on my goals. Fuck the noise. Focus on yourself, where you can see tangible results. That is empowerment.
Choose these kinds of thoughts to get yourself through difficult times.
4. How can I make sure I’m having fun?
This builds on what we discussed in #1.
My psychologist once asked me: “Do you play?” I stared at her, confounded, because the answer was obviously no.
It’s true that I’ve fallen into despair a few times over the last couple years, and this is usually marked by a waning ability to have fun. I went looking for answers and found Brené Brown’s research on the importance of play (here’s a great summary if you’re interested).
Play – defined by Brené as time spent without purpose or self-consciousness – is breeding ground for creativity. Committing to play enables us to access that childlike wonder, where joy and innocence thrive.
Life is stressful, and that will never change. But we can mutate that stress into fun if we are willing to be children again… mischievous and playful and out of our own heads.
Sure, public speaking is stressful. But I can make it more fun if I crack a few jokes, wear something that makes me feel like a queen, and god forbid… be myself.
We think we have to submit to the forever difficult-ness of everything, but what if that’s not true? It’s worth thinking about.
5. The only failure is giving up
As someone who is terrified of failure, I had to do some mental gymnastics to get over myself and start chasing what I want.
A huge part of that was recognising that giving up is the only failure there is. I recommend doing the following exercise.
Write what you think failure looks like for you. Yes, this is confronting and scary. But once you have it down, you’ll quickly realise these are less big bad scary “failures” and more of the like of… mistakes.
And *grabs megaphone* MISTAKES AREN’T FAILURES. After running through my ridiculous list of what I thought were failures (messing up an interview, letting down a client), I realised the only true failure would be refusing to try again.
If you’re afraid of making mistakes, remember that mistakes are an essential step forward. Mistakes bring us closer to growth and improvement. Mistakes aren’t scary. Allow that weight to lift from your shoulders.
Unsticking yourself from the fear of failure is rejuvenating to get your thoughts straight and thrive through difficult times.
6. I managed to stay alive so far
Think of everything you’ve been through in your life. Think of all the worrying you’ve done, every obstacle that seemed impossible, and all the things that hurt you. Now think of how you survived it all. You’re still here. You’re alive. Congratulations.
Wherever you are during these difficult times… it’s just another phase of life. It won’t last forever. And you’ll come out the other side just fine. You know you will.
Too often we’re plagued by our past mistakes or “failures”. Understandably, this may have eroded our sense of self-trust and confidence.
It’s important to have a metaphoric (or physical) jar you can reach into to remind you of all the times you conquered. All the times you persevered and surrendered and manifested.
Slowly, you realise that you’ve actually been killing it this whole time. And there’s no reason that should stop now.
It may sound counterintuitive but that’s why this concept works on this list of thoughts to get through difficult times.
7. I have the right to explore this path
Too often, we get caught up with the question of “Am I on the right path?”
Overtime I’ve come to reject this. The idea that there is a single path laid out for us, and that we may be forever lost if we stray from that path… sounds fucking stressful.
We’ve all been sidelined by life events. There are a million paths I could’ve taken in my life, and I’m not in the business of agonising over past decisions or regret.
I may have lived unconventionally compared to most. I still question my decision to burn my life down in the States and move across the world to New Zealand. But it’s my life. I have the right to explore this path. I don’t have time to ponder what I should’ve done or shouldn’t have done or how different life might have looked.
If you’ve chosen a path in your life that feels incredibly brave… know that you have the right to explore that path. You are exactly where you’re meant to be.
8. As long as I’m growing, the outcome doesn’t matter
I highly rate this exercise. It’s one of the most powerful.
Through all the chaos of the last few years, I decided to focus on one thing and one thing only: my growth.
Hard times yield incredible growth. From a place of adversity, we exceed our own expectations. We are given the opportunity to show ourselves and the world what we’re made of. We learn a lot.
This may be bittersweet but think of all the ways you’ve grown through these crazy times.
For me, I picked up enriching habits that changed my life for the better. I was determined to keep functioning. And I committed to my health in a way I never have before. A healthy diet, exercise regime, strict sleeping schedule. A meditation habit. Prioritisation of joy and creativity. A deeper understanding of all the things that delight me and make life worth living.
This has righted my priorities, and put me on a path that feels brilliantly authentic.
The outcome doesn’t matter as long as I continue on this path of incredible growth.
Make growth enough. Fuck the rest.
9. What if everything works out?
Easily one of the most powerful thoughts to keep you going through difficult times.
So far in this post, we’ve focused on releasing attachment to outcomes. The concept of “the future” is abstract and terrifying.
But just to entertain it for a second… what if you believed that everything will work out?
As important as it is to ignore the noise and put our heads down, it’s just as important to believe in ourselves.
Mind you, this doesn’t mean place heavy burdens on yourself to succeed. It’s as simple as entertaining a future where you have everything you’ve always wanted. It’s good to lay this out. What is it you want?
For the longest time, I thought I wanted money. After years of self-reflection, I realised what I actually wanted was a beautiful home. And I believed it was impossible to have a beautiful home without being a millionaire. Which obviously isn’t true.
To get through the worst of times, we have to be good at visualising. We have to be able to taste a vision that delights us, something deeper than just being rich.
In my darkest moments, I visualise myself in a beautiful home with big windows and sunshine and an aviary. My mother and I cook in the kitchen, while Shaun plays with the kids in the garden. There is art on the walls and flowers in vases.
In “the future”, everything worked out. And in the present, I feel a bit more confident, a bit more at ease, ready to play with all the universe throws at me.
10. I’m fucking unstoppable
I love this one. Simple and powerful, this thought will obliterate all doubt and all fear. I especially love screaming it (in my head) during exercise when my heart is pumping and my brain feels pried open.
All my wisest teachers have told me we are what we tell ourselves. Garbage thoughts will never stop, but we can dispel them just as easily if we have an arsenal of empowering mantras.
If this isn’t your strong suit, be patient. It takes time to rewire the brain. Do what it takes. Find an empowering thought and write it down every morning and every evening. Put it on a post-it and look at it every day. Scream it at yourself during times of duress. You will start to believe it. I promise.
I hope these 10 thoughts give you a boost to keep going during difficult times. Always remember that you are not alone. Life is weird and complex, but it’s also a playground for our own growth. If you’re reading this, I know you’re not the sort to back down from a challenge. Remember your strength. I believe in you, and more importantly, you believe in you.
