After 4 years of living in New Zealand, absorbing its culture and lifestyle, here are 20 life lessons that helped shape me into a better, kinder, and more soulful human being.
I have been living in New Zealand for over 4 years. And I still have to pinch myself. I look back on the journey with nostalgia, remembering the sad, anxiety-ridden 23-year-old who took a leap of faith and bought a one-way ticket to the far end of the globe.
I arrived scared yet curious… alive yet detached. Not knowing this was about to be the most exhausting, thrilling, horrifying, and wondrous adventure since… well since the first time my life got uprooted at 12.
I’ve lived an interesting life across three wildly-different countries. And I wanted to share the 20 life lessons I’ve uncovered from living in New Zealand the last 4 years. Things I planted in my garden next to Lebanese and American seeds. Other things that uprooted a patch or two.
It has been a formative few years. And I thought, whether you’re planning a trip to New Zealand, or already live here, this might be an entertaining glimpse at the New Zealand culture and lifestyle… and its eventful impact on an unsuspecting foreigner.
20 Life Lessons From Living in New Zealand for 4 Years
1. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing as long as there’s heart (aroha)
One of my favorite things about New Zealanders is their non-judgemental nature. The relief from living in such a culture speaks volumes to the amount of shame and fear I stowed away in my bones.
People don’t discern your worth by occupation. I learned that being judgemental will hurt me before it hurts anyone else. As long as there’s aroha (Māori word for heart), it doesn’t matter what you do.
This helped foster feelings of enoughness within myself, which had a cascading impact to many areas of my life.
2. Land is to be worshiped
New Zealand has a strong infrastructure for climate and environmental preservation. They do sustainability very well, from big organisations to small businesses. But it goes deeper than that.
Land, water and sky receive deep respect and, in the realm of te ao Māori, worship.
I always found myself a bit strange to be so spiritual about trees and mountains. Turns out, these are millenia-old beliefs of tangata whenua (indigenous Māori people of the land).
3. “She’ll be right”
A slang in New Zealand, “she’ll be right” encompasses Kiwis’ nonplussed, confident nature. It’s akin to saying something like “it’s no big deal” or “I’m sure it’ll figure itself out.”
Kiwis tend not to sweat the small stuff. A refreshing approach to exhausted, nerve-wracked me.
I learned there’s no value in ruminating. In other words, there’s nothing important enough to fuck with my zen, especially not on a daily basis.
These are people who value good energy and perspective. With a bit of Kiwi ingenuity, no problem is worth fretting about.
4. Stay humble
New Zealanders aren’t an egotistical bunch. Sure, there’s a few bad eggs. But for a culture who adopts a relaxed, laid-back lifestyle, there isn’t much room to be pretentious.
I learned that staying humble isn’t about diminishing myself. Staying humble keeps me grounded and facilitates more connection, faster friendships, genuine interactions. I left postering behind, out of which unfurled authenticity. It nourishes me at my very core.
5. Humble doesn’t mean passive
Although Kiwis are happy to stay humble, they reminded me a few times that humble never means passive. Kiwis are cheeky and strategic. They strive for growth and innovation like anyone else.
Living in New Zealand, I learned not to underestimate those who are kind. Being a good person does not stunt growth, only accelerates it.
6. All of the world’s answers can be found on a challenging tramp
I don’t want to give away spoilers. You’ll just have to try a challenging tramp yourself. Find them all here.
Trust that tramping your ass off surrounded by epic nature will reveal a few cosmic answers about the human experience. About will and perseverance. Here, you go to the foundation of all the life lessons to be gleaned from living in New Zealand.
7. Start your own business
New Zealand is a country of small businesses and entrepreneurs. That’s why Kiwi ingenuity is so handy.
If you see a gap, fill it. Whatever your venture is, with aroha, you’ll likely succeed.
Combine a small country with a fast-growing network, and it’s easy to grow. Starting my own business has been rewarding, and I thank living in New Zealand for feeling safe enough to step out of my comfort zone.
8. Work-life balance is non-negotiable
Nothing more to say here, really. Employers value a good work-life balance so employees don’t have to fight that hard for it. It’s how I make time for all my wee trips around this incredible country.
9. Don’t be a dick
As mentioned, New Zealand is a small country and if you care about your reputation, you’ll prioritise being a good person. Many times, I’ve been warned away from dickish people through the grapevine. If one person knows you’re a dick, everyone knows you’re a dick.
Reputations are fragile. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and you’ll do just fine.
10. Nothing is as urgent as you think
One of the most infuriating things I had to learn after moving to New Zealand is that nothing is as urgent as I make it out to be. As an anxious person, I lived by a to-do list with never-ending urgency. Since living like this definitely fucks with zen (as mentioned in #3), Kiwis have no appetite for it.
To prove my point, I just asked Shaun what he considers are foundational New Zealand values and he said, “I’ll get back to you on that.”
11. Serve others before yourself
I love Kiwis’ value of service. This is something that can be pulled from te ao Māori, and it meshes well with other Kiwi values, such as kindness, ingenuity, and entrepreneurship. From neighbors to community initiatives to Government (sometimes), there is a strong sense of helping those in need.
I found a new layer of joy by offering my time in service to someone else, and letting go of my own self-centeredness every once in a while.
12. Slow down
This entire blog is dedicated to how New Zealand healed me long enough to slow down and reassess my priorities. I included some reading below if you’d like a deep dive into this.
I learned a huge lesson here, perhaps one of the most important. Slow is the path of least resistance to get anywhere. Whether you have business goals, fitness goals, wellbeing goals… “slow and steady” is the fastest path to the best results. It sounds contradictory… but trust me on this.
Related reading:
- How Moving to New Zealand Healed Me
- 8 Ways New Zealand is the best place on earth for slow travel
- Why Slow Travel is Essential for Your Mental Health
- 7 ways to slow down to become a better writer and mindful storyteller
- Into the Ancient Wild: Mount Aspiring National Park, West Coast
13. The birds matter
Because New Zealand is a predator-free island (and we try our damnedest to keep it that way), the bird population was allowed to thrive and multiply and branch off into a number of diverse, unique species. The birds matter because they are manifestations of an abundant Earth Mother who had free reign over millions of years.
The birds in New Zealand are colorful, playful, intelligent. They maintain the ecosystem, and deserve our awe and protection.
14. We must be kaitiaki (guardians) of the land
I learned a lot about the harm of invasive species when I visited the lupins last year. I’d wanted to see the hypnotising flowers for years, and was dismayed to know how disruptive they’ve been to New Zealand’s fragile ecosystem.
Invasive species, both flora and fauna, can cause a lot of damage very quickly. And when we care so much about the land and all her creatures, we must take on the role of kaitiaki (guardianship) to preserve our home at all costs.
15. Age doesn’t matter
Due to their non-judgemental open-mindedness, age doesn’t seem to matter to New Zealanders. No matter how old you are, it’s never too old for tramping a wicked track, starting a business or a new career, or going back to school.
This was liberating since a lot of my anxiety comes from feeling like I’m on some depleting countdown to achieve certain milestones. As mentioned in #12, slow is the path of least resistance. It’s okay to take our time deciding who we are and what we want. Taking the time for intuition and flow can lead to some truly rewarding, authentic experiences.
16. You don’t need as much as you think
Everything in New Zealand is expensive so many of us have adopted a sense of minimalism by force. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Kiwis’ needs seem quite simple compared to some other cultures I’ve dipped my toes into. As long as we have land, clean water, good food and better company, there isn’t much more to ask for.
Which brings me to my next point.
17. You can’t care too much about your image
This will be a difficult one for me to let go. But outside of Auckland, Kiwis are a casual bunch. It isn’t like in the big cities, where rich people look rich. With the lowered ego, image isn’t so important, even when you’re loaded.
It was a safe environment for me to investigate my consumerism and image obsession, and reassess my priorities.
18. Informal works best
As stated above, Kiwis are a casual bunch. Especially in the workplace, it took me a long time to shed that cold professionalism I learned in the States. Kiwis, and especially Māori, enjoy getting to know each other and develop trust before getting down to business. This usually involves food, which makes me all too keen to participate.
An informal approach worked well to relax me in the workplace and get to the heart of things. It makes work a much more enjoyable (and less all-consuming) venture.
19. Being friendly will take you places
It didn’t take long to see how being friendly will take you far in New Zealand. I received my first dose of Kiwi kindness on the flight to New Zealand, before hitting land. The woman next to me invited me to stay at her horse ranch.
The level of openness is something I’ll be taking with me no matter where I go. The term for this in te ao Māori is whanaugnatanga… the act of getting acquainted to develop trust and friendship. It’s an important custom when working with Māori, and something implemented in most New Zealand workplaces.
And when the relationship is good, you experience higher degrees of success no matter the goal.
20. Clean environment = higher quality of life
What I love about New Zealand most of all is that it’s not so aggressively profit-driven. There’s a population-wide concern for our wellbeing and our children’s wellbeing. Living here, I understood that preserved land and a clean environment facilitates a higher quality of life.
Nature is intrinsically tied to our wellbeing. So when nature suffers, we all suffer. When nature thrives, we all thrive. It’s so special to have access to such beautiful landscapes, to have clean lakes and rivers, and unpolluted skies.
Nature is healthy, and so the nation is healthy.
That brings me to the end of my list of life lessons after living in New Zealand for 4 years. I’d be curious to re-evaluate this list in the next few years to see whether it still rings true, and if any more lessons find me on this beautiful land.
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