A staple of any travel blog, here are my top tips on how to manage homesickness when living abroad, from a wellbeing perspective.
Travel stirs many emotions, hence why this blog exists. Being a slow, mindful traveler also means being slow and mindful within. Bringing us today’s 6 ways to manage homesickness and wellbeing when living abroad.
I’ll start by saying I never signed up for this. It’s one thing to be homesick while living my best expat life, but this pandemic has stranded me.
And yes, I get to live in the most beautiful country in the world. But attachment to my family runs deep. I can’t go longer than 6 months without seeing them and this pandemic has brought not one but three trip cancellations.
The homesickness is real. And not for the first time, I woke up in tears this morning, which is why I’m writing this post now.
I need the wellbeing reminders… so here’s how to manage homesickness when living abroad (or more like, stuck overseas).
Related: Why Slow Travel is Essential for your Wellbeing and Mental Health
6 Ways to Manage Homesickness through Wellbeing When Living Abroad
1. Admit you’re homesick
The first step to any problem is admitting there’s a problem.
I don’t know about you but I have a habit of corking the bottle on my emotions in the name of productivity and “getting on with my life”.
This causes emotions to fester. And eventually, to lash out in random, confusing bursts across my life. It’s okay, we all do this.
Emotions live in our bodies and they need to be acknowledged. Sit for a moment and admit that you’re homesick. Do the tears immediately come? Does the pain suddenly feel so obvious?
Good. Air it out. Let it metabolize. We’re here, we’re homesick. It’s okay.
2. Talk to family and friends
This may seem obvious and unhelpful. But the best way to ease homesickness is to call your mom. Talk to your siblings. Talk to your friends.
It’s crazy how often I sit on the couch and mourn the distance, but I don’t bother to pick up the phone. Life is too busy and I decide there’s no time for an hour call. Because that’s how long these calls usually take. Or in the case of my best friend, three hours (hi Kimberly).
But we underestimate how healing this time is. It’s ultimate self-care, to reconnect with your loved ones, tell them how you’re struggling, and have a good fucking cry together.
Odds are, they miss you too.
3. Lean into the nostalgia
Now that you’ve admitted to being homesick and talked to everyone back home, it’s time to lean into the nostalgia.
If you’re anything like me, you avoid nostalgia. It’s a particularly uncomfortable emotion. Longing for an inaccessible place and inaccessible people… hurts. And we don’t like hurting.
But leaning into things that make you nostalgic is a great way to ease homesickness. For the longest time (I’m talking years), I avoided Disney movies because they reminded me of a lost life in Lebanon or getting drunk on the couch with my friends in the States.
But recently I’ve weaned them back into my life and it wasn’t the emotional tsunami I expected. It made me feel safe, like I was cradling my child self. It made me happy.
That’s the thing about nostalgia. It feels like pain but it’s in remembrance of happy memories. Coax out the feelings of joy. The memories are treasures and you can re-live them in your head whenever you want.
Do the nostalgic things and nurture a feeling of home within.
4. Cook a meal from home
This is a great way to “lean into the nostalgia”.
Food is the ultimate comfort. When you’re disconnected from your community/culture, the right meal is a great way to cultivate safety and soothe the inner child.
Sure, it won’t be the same as how your mom/grandmother/etc made it. But this is another opportunity to call home and ask for help.
My mom and I schedule FaceTime kitchen sessions where she talks me through a Lebanese recipe. This makes me feel like I’m in the kitchen next to her, and we catch up on each other’s lives in-between.
Cooking is a meditative hobby. So this is a great way to tend to your wellbeing and make something that makes you feel at home.
5. Tend to your wellbeing
There’s certainly a theme happening in this post around mindset and mental health. Because the best way to manage homesickness while living abroad is to tend to your wellbeing.
It’s hard to access joy when you just want to hug your mom, and that kinda sadness can’t be ignored. So self-care is crucial.
And this can be applied to anything, really. We, as a society, need to get better at slowing down and tending to ourselves like we would our children.
And we need to understand how to do self-care correctly. Watching Netflix for 5 hours might feel good, but it’s not self-care. Healthy eating, exercise, celebrating our wins, exercising grace and self-compassion… that’s self-care.
Learn how to parent yourself compassionately because sometimes, the homesickness just won’t fade. And you need to be your own soft place to land.
Related: Bay Day? 10 Things You Can Do Right Now to Feel Better
6. Have a Community Around
This last tip is very important. It’s imperative that you have a community, wherever you’re living now. There’s nothing worse than feeling disconnected from your original crew and being isolated in the new place.
Remember why you did this. You left home to experience new things and meet new people. So go do that.
Humans need community to feel safe and protected… it’s in our nature. Belonging, having purpose, being seen… these do wonders for mental health. And yes, they can curb homesickness.
Oftentimes we get stuck in the past, mourning the end of an era. Even worse, we realize how much we took our family and friends for granted. But this is an invaluable lesson. This is why we leave home.
Go gently with yourself, but don’t take for granted what you have now. Down the line, nostalgia will come for those times you spent traveling the world, far from home, in blissful independence. Cherish every moment so you can look back and know you enjoyed it to the very last drop.
