If you just had a bad day, welcome to this post where we run through 10 things you can do about it right now to feel better. Glad you found me.
I’m a subject matter expert in having bad days. From panic attacks to digestive complications, I’ve had to maximize my wellbeing habits so I don’t lose my fucking mind. And I want to share some of them now.
First of all, it’s okay. You’re okay. Your family is okay.
Having a bad day gives you an excuse to slow down and pamper yourself. So don’t let it go to waste!
Here are 10 small and easy things you can do if you’ve had a bad day and you’re just about done with everything, including yourself.
10 Things to Feel Better After a Bad Day
1. Acknowledge You Had a Bad Day
A lot of people skip this step. Don’t be one of them. It’s important to validate your emotions, your experience.
So what made today bad? Make a list, write it down, or scream it into the void. Give yourself 10 minutes to be mad about it. Set a timer. Stomp around. Cry. Throw something at the wall – I recommend a soft object so it doesn’t get violent (like a hair scrunchie).
Moan and groan. Ugh. Bad days suck, right? I’m with you. You’re doing great.
2. Self-Compassion
How would you feel if a loved one had a bad day? You’d want to love on them, right? Time to do that for yourself.
Apply a lens of self-compassion over your experience.
You had a bad day… give yourself a hug. You’re doing your best. You put so much pressure on yourself. You’ve made XYZ sacrifices. Times are just hard right now.
This particularly helps if you’re feeling lonely in your bad experience. Show up for yourself. Loneliness is cured when you know how to be there for yourself and say “Hey… I’ve got you.”
3. Control Exercise
Oooh, I love this one. This exercise features in my Self-Care Journal – sign up below to receive a free copy.
Make two columns. Name them “In My Control” and “Out of My Control”. Fill them in.
Ask yourself how much energy you’re putting toward things you can’t control. Focus on what you can control. Fuck the rest.
Example:
Out of My Control: The weather. Other people’s behavior. The past.
In My Control: My attitude. My behavior. My diet. Self-care. Pursuing my goals.
Life solved.
4. Fact or Fiction?
This is another exercise which features in my Self-Care Journal because it’s rather… liberating. We may not be aware that our brains feed us a loop of self-limiting beliefs. Examples like “I’m not X enough” or “I will fail at this” or “I’m not deserving of love”.
It can be confronting but write these all down. Be specific! Mine are always “My business will never take off” and “I’m one step away from ruining my future”.
Now next to each story, write whether it’s fact or fiction. Spoiler alert, 99% of these are fiction. Once you see how ridiculous your brain sounds, you can create some distance. And with enough practice, you’ll stop giving weight to these toxic thoughts and move on your merry way.
5. Set an Intention
Still got your pen out? Good. Time to set an intention.
Ask yourself after a long day “What do I have to worry about tonight?” Odds are… not much.
So what’s the one thing that will make tonight easier? A goodie is the intention that I will not try to “solve” my life for the rest of the day.
Because that’s what we do, right? Our brains torture us by highlighting this problem and that disaster and how in the hell it’ll all be solved. But how much can you really solve right now? Ruminations only take you out of the present moment and kill joy.
Write your intention in big letters. Stick it somewhere close. Honor it.
6. Align with Self
This is a hard one because most of us don’t even know what we need to feel “aligned with self” anymore. But ask yourself What makes me connect with my inner child?
Is it coloring or puzzles? Connecting with nature? A bubble bath? Calling mom?
Even if you don’t know the answer yet, doing this practice can be beneficial. Take notice whether your identity has bled into your work or your partner or your children. How can you maintain your individuality so you don’t feel so unmoored?
If you need some ideas, here are 50 self-care ideas for better mental health (I framed this one around quarantine but all are still relevant).
And no, it’s not selfish. Once you figure out what you need to make you feel aligned with yourself, make time for those things. Schedule them as non-negotiable slots in your calendar. I believe in you.
7. Cuddle Up With a Blanket
Something about a cozy blanket is so comforting. And it can nurture childlike innocence, which does wonders for lifting the darkness.
If you don’t have a comfy blanket, invest in one. Weighted blankets are great for anxiety. Cuddle up with a funny movie, a book, or a glass of wine. Probably not your phone, though.
Tell your household you are not to be bothered. Enjoy it to the max. Look around and practice gratitude. Particularly if it’s bad weather outside or your body aches… channel the relief of rest, safety, and comfort.
You’re safe. You’ve got you.
8. Go to your sanctuary (or build one)
On the same note, go hang out in your sanctuary. If you don’t have one, consider making one. And I’m not saying build yourself a shrine. If you’re on a budget like me, it’s as simple as a bedside table with all your favorite things: some body creams, a stack of books, a salt lamp, an oil diffuser. A few plants maybe, or a collection of comfy pillows.
You’re paying the rent/mortgage, right? Make your space work for you. Optimize it for serenity. Make it a safe place to prioritize your wellbeing.
9. Cook a nourishing meal
I know you don’t want to. You’re tired. Fed up. Done. Uber Eats is calling your name.
But eating junk will only make you feel worse. Try to muster some energy and get your butt in the kitchen. Whip up something delicious in 30 minutes or less. Or ask your partner to do it!
Prepare for this moment by freezing home-cooked meals or preparing your ingredients before work. Personally I have a stack of cookbooks on the topic of simple recipes and time optimization. And I always try to make cooking fun rather than a chore, by blasting music, singing and dancing. Or use it as an opportunity to catch up with my partner.
A healthy diet plays a role in our mood. And after a bad day, you don’t need to feel guilt for eating an entire pizza on your own – though sometimes that can be a form of self-care, if done with a good balance of healthy meals.
10. Stretching and deep breathing
I don’t want to include “exercise” on this list because it would just make your day worse. But I talk about this powerful method in this post on how you can use breathing to reduce anxiety.
Stretching while taking long deep breaths is… magical. It’s grounding, calming, and gets your blood flowing if you’ve been sitting at a desk all day. Oftentimes, when we’re stressed or anxious, we don’t notice the restless energy under our skin. We fidget, pick at our nails, and snap at the people we love.
Do some simple stretches and slow your breathing riiiight down. Concentrate on soothing that anxious energy. Notice where it sits, how it feels. Go for as long as you feel is necessary, whether it’s 3 minutes or an hour.
It’s important to note that, if you feel zero motivation to put these in practice… it’s when we’re feeling the worst that we need self-care the most. I hope your day has improved from reading this… and I hope you implement some self-love into your bad day and feel better for it.
Much love
P